My grandmother died on Wednesday, 8 December 2021 around 15:00. I refused to watch her die because everyone was praying and as an apostate I didn't know what to do. They bathed her body in the house backyard. The sky was dark, cloudy, and it was raining. They brought the body to a mushola in front of the house where we pray for her (again i feel bad as an apostate because everyone was praying and crying and begging god to take her to heavens, but i was just there with neutral feeling. i wasn't particularly sad or anything, nor did i pray to god. i was simply being a chameleon). When we took the body out from mushola suddenly the sky turned orange and there was a rainbow over the roof.
What a nice coincidence.
Then we buried her. Then we did another slametan like 2 dinoan 3 dinoan 7 dinoan, we even did khatmil quran in which I read 2 juzs from quran bcs everyone else also did. Then my aunt said the house now belongs to all 12 children of my grandmother, but I can stay here as a 'person who keeps the house clean but doesn't own the house nor having any rights upon it'. Technically i'm now an unpaid cleaning lady, but with a rent-free privilege. Most importantly, it's rent-free, so I'll stay here until I get a job out of town (which i really don't know when that'll happen).
I think, my grandmother, despite being not-so-likeable (like most old ppl are), is actually one of the best persons in the extended family. I kinda regret not treating her better during her lifetime. Like maybe I should've talked with her more so she won't feel lonely. For a person who has 12 children, she's quite lonely.
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I got bullied a lot throughout the funeral family gatherings because i'm not married and i don't have a 'visible' job (like i don't wear suit and go to work every morning). Apparently these boomers don't know there's something called 'remote work'. They don't even know what an internet is. I once told 1 person in the family that I want to study abroad, couple days later my just-married-now-the-wife-is-pregnant-23-year-old-smug-cousin asked me in such derogatory manner if i'm still 'trying to find that scholarship abroad' like i'll never get it. well maybe i'll never get it but at least i'm trying. if i still don't get it i'm gonna prostitute myself to my boyfriend so he would ship me to europe so i can study while working part time scrubbing piss on toilet closets in some Viet restaurant.
In an occasion the aunt announced her DIL's pregnancy with such a pride, "she's finally pregnant! we're expecting a baby and we're very grateful," to which I calmly responded, "my condolences."
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During the funerals, the kids found Theia and Dandelion and we played with them. Rohina tried to rename Theia into Tania and Dandelion into Delia because of pronunciation issue and I was like, "wtf dude they have a name". So I forced her to correctly pronounce their names.
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